Jimmy

So, I actually do kinda want to study for the two exams I have this afternoon. I mean, both subjects are interesting and I obviously don’t want to fail the exams, but there’s always things that are so much more interesting at the exact moment that I sit down and say “alright, time to study”. Last night it was WoW (installing, patch downloading and then playing from level 3 to level 6) and registering my disappointment in Joss Whedon and today it’s CNN.com articles and the Monopoly app on my iPod Touch.

Read on for my rambles about the trials of being a genius in college. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, and if you don’t want to read it, don’t read it. *grin*

I have many conflicting thoughts and feelings when it actually comes to studying for an exam.
First is that I don’t really feel like doing it (that’s a common college student lament, isn’t it?).
Second is that on a lot of subjects I can go in to an exam cold (with no studying or only 5 minutes) and come out with a passing grade, sometimes I’ve gotten as high as a B using this approach (actually, if I recall correctly, I once got an A+ using this approach, but that was in Intro to Computers class, a course that covered the most very basics of computing: things I’ve known for nearly a decade in some cases, so I don’t know if it counts), so I don’t feel this huge pressing need to study…
…which brings us to the third thing: the huge pressing need to study as told by the professor! In all fairness I understand that most people do need to study a lot for exams, even me if I were aiming higher than a B on most exams, but if I can get a B on an exam with minimal studying (sometimes none) I don’t see the reason to waste perfectly good WoW/socializing/ranting-about-Whedon/whatever time to spend 6 hours studying just to bump my letter grade on that exam a step higher. Memo to every professor I’ve ever had: I actually do understand your grading scale and I’m OK with the grades I’m getting. If I wasn’t I would be working harder. I understand that with some students you need to be concerned for them. I understand that in a very few instances your concern for me has even been helpful to me, but by and large it’s just annoying guilt-tripping. I’m in control of my education, got it?
Fourth is the GPA. My GPA is actually pretty good. It’s not perfect, but it’s where I want it to be (again, to maintain my current very good GPA takes about 20%-30% the time that maintaining a 4.0 would. Simple cost-benefit analysis), the problems come when I don’t study enough to keep my GPA where I want it to be. This is very different from the professor-induced guilt over not studying and it’s the one voice in my head I actually listen to. Here’s the rub though: I don’t like doing things that I think are stupid or not productive or bad for society. I think our current education system is bad for society (I know, I’m in it so I must be a hypocrite, we’ll discuss that some other time) and I especially think that professors guilt-tripping students over not studying is REALLY bad, so I recoil and tend to not want to do any school work (again, I know I chose this, and again: later) when I feel that it’s being forced for the wrong reasons. The problem is that I have my own standards that I want to maintain and that requires me to actually do some of the things in the ways that I don’t want to do them.

I’m not making sense. I think this might be more clear: I think organized education is fine, but I think exams are useless. I like doing most homework and have no trouble doing it, but I hate exams and see no point to their existence and therefore am loathe to study for them. If I don’t study for exams, though, I’m liable to have my GPA slip below where I want it to be. Therefore I need to study more than I’m inclined to, but I need to make it about doing it for myself rather than doing it for the system. Because the system is broken. And stupid. And I’m not a big fan of doing things for broken and stupid reasons.

I don’t mind doing badly on exams (as long as it doesn’t pull my GPA below my magic number, I mean): what I mind is the professors reaction to me doing badly. I repeat: I am in control of my own education and know what I’m getting myself into, OK? You don’t need to guilt me about getting a low grade. I know I am very smart and I know you want me to do well in your class, but I have a lot of other things going on in my life and I don’t have the time, space, energy or inclination to do as well as I “could” do. I’m sorry. I really am. I know my IQ and I know how rare it is for you to get someone as smart as me in one of your classes, but please, let it alone. I’m not here to make your life better. You’re here to teach me things. I’m not here to do anything but learn what I want to learn from what you’re teaching. I know the system: if I don’t do enough work to pass the class, I fail. So I do enough work to get the grades I want, but I never agreed to do every single assignment. I know this attitude is probably completely different from that of any other student you’ve ever had, but it’s this attitude that makes me the person you seem to love having in class. Stop. Trying. To. Change. The. Way. I. Am.

Now it’s time to “study” for exam #2 today (Operating Systems, which I feel like I’ve probably got pretty much wrapped up in terms of understanding. I’ll probably review some terms or something, but I’m not feeling very urgent about the studying). I feel like I did OK on the math exam despite the fact that I spent a lot of the time I was planning on studying writing most of the above. Which just kinda proves my point(s). I’ll know for sure how I did on Monday when I get the exam back. Fingers crossed!

That was long, involved, confusing, possibly inflammatory, and so very good for me to write and work out. I hope you enjoyed getting a little bit more of a glimpse into my mind and feelings about higher education. And if any of my professors happen to read this…um, yeah, please don’t fail me.

Yay.

Cheers.

-j

Posted in: Life by jimmy2 / Tags: college, school